The Girl in a Cafe

I cannot believe I actually finished this one, this doesn't even deserve to be rated, it was that bad. This was...an experience, shall we say. An experience that I wish I kind of could get back. What turned me off on this book?1. The Cursing. OH LORD ABOVE. It takes all my self restraint not to swear right now, that's how bad it was. I read this on my Kindle app for my iPhone, and at one stage I counted 10 fbombs at once. I understand that some people swear, but not as much as this. It was awful. God awful. It makes your characters seem cheap. Even the lesser cuss words were just too much. And seriously? It's unattractive. I'd be racing the other way. It is not sexy for a guy - or a girl - to call you an asswipe or a dickwad. EVER. (excuse my language)2. The Characters. The worst characters I'd ever read. They had potential, don't get me wrong. This book had potential, it really did. But I wanted to stab everyone. Ellie first. She cried at every opportunity. My mum hates me. Tears. My boyfriend cheated on me. Tears. My brother's best friend is smiling at me. Tears. I'm in love. Tears. I think he doesn't love me. Tears. He loves me. Tears. Really, it was like this the whole entire way through. And oh man, she was so....infuriating! Ellie's made out at the start to be the innocent, perfect virginal girl. She's scared of being with someone because of the abuse she cops from her mum. But as soon as she meets Gunner, she 'desires' him. She feels things for him. She aches for him. Honestly, it read like bad porn. The dull ache between her thighs every time she so much as looked at Gunner. SERIOUSLY WHAT? She apparently doesn't know what an orgasm is and yet she gets wet from just gazing into his eyes. I don't understand. Really, I don't. This whole sexual thing carried on throughout the whole book, with every character. I swear, the word 'jumpage' was used at one stage. Every male was getting an erection at the sight of another female. Is that not really objectifying? I would not want to be with a guy who got a hard on every time he looked at me. I mean really? What sort of romance and love is that? And I'm sure every time I look at my boyfriend and think, "Woah, who is this gorgeous beast that is with me?" that I don't get a 'dull ache in between my legs' but instead a whole zoo in my stomach. That is the feeling you are supposed to have. And Gunner, God, he was the wimpiest guy in the world. Crying all the time. He falls in love with Ellie after just a day. Hell, it's insinuated that he falls for her before even meeting her. Jeff and Ari were the redeeming characters - but barely. And let's not get started on Ellie's insecurities. Really. She was stalker material. Every other female was an evil bitch bent on stealing Gunner away. And then, at one point when she thinks he's really cheated on her, she goes off with another guy. And practically dry humps the other guy on the dance floor for Gunner to see. Double standards much?3. The Writing Style and Grammar..and Well, Everything Else Really. This book seriously needed editing. I'm not 100% sure how self publishing works, but ALWAYS GET SOMEONE TO PROOF READ YOUR WORK. SERIOUSLY. Grammar and punctuation people. IT SAVES LIVES. This book makes Fifty Shades of Grey look like a Man Booker contender. The sentences were short and were telling instead of showing. There was useless, random information that made no sense. Like by just looking at Gunner, Ellie was able to tell that Gunner weighed 230 pounds, because hey, guess what? Her brother weighed 220 pounds. SAY WHAT? Things that an editor or a beta reader would have picked up on. Like the misuse of words like quite, quiet. Where, were. Their, there. It's really not that hard. And there were inconsistencies all over the place. Like at the start, Jeff's date is Rachel, and then she turns into a Rebecca. Then back into a Rachel. It's absurd, really. If you want to write a book, sure go for it, but for the love of God do it properly.I feel bad for saying it, I do. I hate giving bad reviews. Heck, I'm not even posting this on my blog. I always say that my reviews only reflect my opinion, and you should always read a book before judging it yourself from my review. But seriously, I wouldn't wish this book on anyone. What masochistic force drove me to actually finish this book I do not know. But honestly. It was horrible. I...I can't even. I just... I'll leave it at that.